


Soap

by lauriegilbert



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-26
Updated: 2012-02-26
Packaged: 2017-10-31 18:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauriegilbert/pseuds/lauriegilbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I was thinking about bathrooms,” Fred admitted.</p><p>Looking across the table with a slightly shocked look, George confirmed, “Bathrooms?”</p><p>“Specifically, soap and shampoo in bathrooms,” he nodded. “And wondering why Hermione and Gin have at least two of everything, like we do, but Harry and Ron don’t.”</p><p>Originally posted on December 17, 2004.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soap

Fred Weasley sat at his kitchen table, staring at the fruit bowl in the centre, unmoving. A casual onlooker would have been struck by the level of concentration he was devoting to such an inocuous item, but someone who looked deeper would quickly catch what was really going on. When George sat down a half hour later directly across from him, and Fred didn’t move a muscle, George knew it was time for action.

Picking up a nearby fork left over from their breakfast that morning, he stabbed it sharply into his brother’s arm.

“What the hell’d you do that for?” Fred yelped as he almost jumped off the chair.

“To bring you back to earth?” George taunted. “Where the hell were you anyways?”

“At Gin’s place,” his brother answered half-heartedly, misunderstanding the question.

“And just why were you sitting and daydreaming about our sister? There are laws against that sort of thing, you know!”

“I wasn’t daydreaming, you ass, and I certainly wasn’t lusting over our sister,” Fred growled.

“Ewww! You put it into words!” Groaning, George clutched his chest. “That’s almost as bad as actually doing it!”

“Just shut up, would you?”

“Not until you tell me what had you zoned out so strongly. ‘Fess up brother of mine.”

“I was thinking about bathrooms,” Fred admitted.

Looking across the table with a slightly shocked look, George confirmed, “Bathrooms?”

“Specifically, soap and shampoo in bathrooms,” he nodded. “And wondering why Hermione and Gin have at least two of everything, like we do, but Harry and Ron don’t.”

“We always suspected that Ronniekins doesn’t shower, so why are you surprised?” George joked. “Besides, girls need lots of everything, and I refuse to use that crap you call soap. Problem solved.”

“No George, not at all. If anything, it makes me wonder more. I mean . . . what guy do you know who’s willing to share anything, especially soap?”

“You’ve lost it, you know that, right?” George said, shaking his head.

“Not at all. In fact, I’m going to prove I haven’t.”

“Whatever you’re smoking, where did you hide it, and where can I get some?”

“Bugger off, and just wait. I know there’s something up and I’m going to prove it.”

“So you keep saying.”

“If you don’t believe me, let me prove it to you,” Fred challenged.

“Prove what? And how?” With a laugh in his voice, George ducked into the icebox to get a beer.

“I’m going to prove that there’s something weird about our baby brother and his bathing habits,” Fred insisted. “And you’re going to  
come with me.”

“Come with you? To prove the kid doesn’t shower? Why do I think this is a waste of my time?” he sighed.

“George Weasley, are you backing out of a challenge? I never thought I’d see the day!” Fred accused, knowing he’d hit a weak  
spot in his twin’s character.

Setting the bottle down on the table, George denied, “Never. So, what’s the plan? Hiding behind the shower curtain until Harry  
comes into the bathroom?”

“Nope. Better.”

~~

“Budge over, you’re on my foot!” George whispered harshly, pushing where he thought his brother was standing.

“Shut the hell up or they’ll know we’re here,” Fred cautioned angrily, shifting his invisible feet back and forth. It was a new product they’d invented, a candy that would make you invisible for an hour. Tonight, that hour was hopefully just long enough to find out what was going on between their baby brother and The Boy Who Lived.

George shook his head. “Still don’t know how we got in around the wards.”

Shaking his head, Fred failed to answer since Harry had just Apparated into the room, frighteningly close to where the twins were standing.

“Ron, I’m home!” Harry bellowed down the hall towards the kitchen.

“Hey!” Ron answered with a silly grin, wiping his hands on the tea towel in his hand. “Dinner’s almost ready, I’m just waiting on the timer for the roast.”

 _Ron cooks!?_ ran across both Fred and George’s mind as memories of many burnt attempts during their childhood ran through their heads.

“I’m sure it’ll be delicious,” Harry said casually, taking a seat in his favourite armchair. “How much longer till it’s ready?”

“Half hour or so,” Ron shrugged, coming to stand next to Harry. “Why?”

“Because . . . “ Harry drawled, pulling the red head into his lap, “I’ve missed you all day and I want to show you how much.” Playing with the back of Ron’s neck, he hesitated, his lips just barely brushing his lover’s. Softly, he asked, “Miss me?”

Whispering now himself, Ron answered, “Of course,” before giving into temptation and capturing Harry’s lips with his own.

Over the next few minutes, the men put on quite a show to their hidden audience, leaving both shirtless and very aroused when the  
buzzer went off in the kitchen.

“SHIT!” Ron yelped, jumping out of the chair and rushing to rescue his meat from the heat.

“I’m sure an extra five minutes wouldn’t hurt it,” Harry said reassuringly, coming into the room behind him.

Glaring over his shoulder as he opened the oven, Ron snapped, “That shows just how little you really know about food!” The slight anger faded easily though as he pulled a perfect roast, potatoes and all, out of the oven. “Dinner, my love, is served.”

~~

Back in the living room, Fred and George were in shock. Without speaking both Apparated back home, where they quickly became visible once more. “Please tell me the candy affected me and I was dreaming what I think I saw back there,” Fred said. “Because . . . ugh! I just . . . “

“Watched our little Ronniekins have an extremely passionate make out session with his best mate,” George finished for him. “His _male_ best mate. And no, you weren’t dreaming, since I saw the exact same thing.” Sitting down, he looked at Fred. “Well, that explains the soap thing. Now we just have to decide what to do about it.”

“We wait. And when the time is right, we use Ron’s secret against him. Just like any proper Weasley should do.”

~~

It was Arthur’s birthday, and the entire Weasley clan, adopted siblings included, were enjoying their very full stomachs thanks to another amazing meal from Molly. Percy had already settled upstairs in his old room, working on a project that was due in two months time, Charlie and Bill were outside trying to fly off their meal, and Molly was in the kitchen talking to her husband while she set the cleaning spells on the dishes.

The twins, Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Angelina and Katie were all in the sitting room, relaxing. The girls were on the sofa discussing the latest muggle romance movie, Hermione having gotten them all addicted to the cinema not too long ago. Ginny still wondered why if the film actors could move, why didn’t photographs move as well, but knew better than to get Hermione started on her three hour explanation. The boys were in the chairs scattered around the fire, silent. Finally, Ron and Harry decided to play a game of chess, and the redhead ran up to his old room to get his starter board.

Fred, seeing his opportunity, looked over at Harry. Waiting until he heard the ghoul in the attic get set off by Ron looking for the board, he said quietly, “So Harry, you seeing anyone lately? Or you thinking of changing your nickname to The Bachelor Waiting to Die Alone?”

Well used to comments like this by now, Harry just smirked. “You can’t do better than that? My favourite’s always been The Boy Who Refuses to Get Laid.”

“Don’t worry, I’m just getting started,” Fred assured him. “Aren’t I George?”

“Leave me out of this,” his twin answered with a slight growl, already sensing where this was headed.

“What, I just wanted to know when Harry here was going to make an honest woman out of our Ron.”

At this, Harry’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and Ron, who had just reached the bottom of the stairs, dropped his chess pieces loudly, ignoring the curses they threw up at him.

“What did you just say?” Ron hissed.

By now everyone in the room was looking at Fred. “I just asked when Harry was going to make an honest woman of you. After all, you are together, yes?”

“How did you know?” he whispered, still in shock.

“I have my ways,” Fred answered with a grin. “And I noticed you aren’t denying it.”

Having stood up to go stand beside his love, Harry put an arm around Ron and led him back into the room, game pieces forgotten on the floor. “Why would we deny it? And to answer your question Fred, I’ve already made an honest woman, I mean, man, of him.”

This caused a gasp from more than one person in the room. Hermione, a little upset over having not been told any of this, asked loudly, “Well, where are your rings then? Why haven’t you told anyone?” Why haven't you told me?! was clearly heard as her voice rang with emotional pain.

“We didn’t want everyone knowing, after all, Harry’s got enough troubles with the press. So, we did it quietly with Dumbledore, and exchanged a more . . . private proof of our love for one another," Ron explained quietly.

“But why didn’t you tell the family? It’s not like we’d tell anyone!” Ginny screeched.

“Gin, you know we were going to eventually. We just wanted to wait until the time was right,” Ron said softly, having dreaded this moment for a very long time.

Sensing his pain, Harry reached for Ron’s hand to give it a squeeze. “I wasn’t ready for you all to know. But now, since you do, and you found out this way,” he sent a glare towards Fred, “Do you all have any questions?” Still holding hands, they walked back to the fire, this time sharing a chair.

After they’d answered the expected questions from the girls, how long they’d been together, how they’d realized they were meant to be more than friends and all of that, George asked his own question. “You said you did something more private. Just what was it?”

Ron looked at Harry with a twinkle in his eye. “Should we tell them, or show them?”

“Definitely show,” Harry grinned back, kissing him on the cheek before standing up. Standing side by side, they turned to face the fire, then dropped their pants, showing their arses to everyone in the room. On Ron’s right cheek was a tattoo of a lightening bolt, complete with Harry’s name inside. Harry’s left cheek, in the exact same position as Ron’s, was a tattoo of a chess piece with Ron’s name.

Walking into the room, Molly stopped in her tracks at the sight in front of her. “What’s going on here?” she demanded, making the boys blushingly pull their breeches back up.

“Ah mum, we were just asking to see their wedding rings,” Fred groaned. "That’s all.”

Years later, Molly was ever grateful that Arthur had been coming from the kitchen to catch her as she fainted.


End file.
